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i grow slow, life goes fast..

i am – am i really stepping out?
am i leaving lá-lá-lá – and where is lá not?
no, there is no lá there, lá is here
inside, now

i so wish i wasn’t sad
leaving lá-lá-lá 
i so wish there was a
wish – shush – hear the absence

leaving is harder than living
this tiny histeria in the sound
makes it edgy
and just around the corner

but listen: life is loud
a mathematical model
of errors, mutations
logic, neurologic

the analogy of the heart and a pump
the noise of this construction
the stink, the evolution
the end, the alternative end

when will i learn already?!

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