13_bigger family, lucky
ailin looks at the night sky, a carpet of stars so gloriously gorgeous, then it comes, the sudden corky insight – she’s living her life upside down! which makes sense.. she follows the path of the skyways slowly and smiles: drew would have laughed at her yet-again corky-insight..
it’s cold. she tucks deeper in her flies_blnkt and writes:
drew, i have so much to say that i silence, and i say so much i should silence – i know these are endless contradictions, repetitions of oneself thinking themselves (i know, bad grammar correct arithmetics) thinking themselves unique consciousness – and i mean unconciousnesslessess – that’s language, my love, language: hi there, i’m here – contact!
i feel the real sad thing is the impossibility of contact, of communication, and the extreem forms of it, with death at the end of our conscious universe, our contact which forms the universe and its particles – life as in endless reproduction of a multi self? i digress because the only things i have now are those words, my love.
i’d written you another letter earlier telling you so many things about life and love, of course i lost it. then virgo had sent to me, i met her at the velvet stone and she told me about the glitch. of course we all knew about something – it has a title thus: glitch.
oh i so wish you’d be here with me now and always, not in a cold forest alone at night (like me) – but you love the stars, don’t you my star, my dear love? and the stars love you back.
i’m also on my way, i hate to tell you it’s difficult, today i’ve cried on public, in front of the :eye: – i know, i’m weak.. i’m sorry about that, i promise i’ll do better the next time etc, please do believe me. i’ve been weakened by the non-stop drain of energy, and yet – it’s so incredible how much of life’s still left!
ailin looks at the night sky, and there’s a silver glow stunning the landscape, everything is in silent prostration to the glory of itself all. she feels it, she belongs to it – earth is gripping her buttocks, thighs, calves, feet, it’s penetrating her –